Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
