is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
