respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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