No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
