Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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