How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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