Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
