as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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