I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Houston, we have a blender
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
