so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
