Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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