does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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