...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Barsexuality is the new black.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
