oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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