There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
no. you can't hotbox the world.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
