conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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