After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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