Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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