Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
