im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
