So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Let's get the cat blown out
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
