last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
