Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
