bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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