I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
