Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
