We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
