can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
