What a fucking waste of an outfit
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
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