im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
