Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
