I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
