Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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