I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
