Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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