just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
