dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
