I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
