There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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