Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
