How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
