I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
