I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
