I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I know her cup size but not her name....
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