After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
