oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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