I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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