Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
