We're like a lot better than the average bears
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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