Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
even my farts smell like vagina
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
