I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
